Taught by
Stephen ArmstrongEphesians
Ephesians - Lesson 5A
Chapters 4:31-32; 5:1-4
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For unbelievers, the beliefs and practices of Christianity can appear to be a contradiction
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On the one hand, they’ll hear how we believe we’re assured Heaven solely because of our trust in Jesus Christ
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We reject any theology that doing good deeds is a means of salvation or that it even contributes to our salvation
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Of course this confuses a world that assumes good things come to those who help themselves
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As I’ve heard more than one unbeliever say having heard of salvation by grace through faith…”it can’t be that easy”
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But then having been saved, Christians maintain that doing good deeds should be the mark of a changed life
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Jesus calls His followers to pursue doing good so that we may glorify our Father in Heaven
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We put away sin and we seek to serve others as a loving response to our salvation, not a means of salvation
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For believers taught by the Spirit of God, these concepts make perfect sense, but to the unbelieving world they can appear to be a contradiction
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They see no sense in claiming a salvation that comes without regard to our personal merit or effort
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Yet at the same time, teaching that the Lord demands good works from those He has saved
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This theology is a stumbling block to other religious system because every false, manmade religious system assumes God thinks like we do
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That He follows a cause-and-effect reward system
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Those who do good, receive good; while those who do bad, receive judgment
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That’s how we operate
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So unmerited favor seems too easy to an unbeliever, and doing works after receiving salvation seems pointless
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It’s like studying after the test is over
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And yet this is exactly the way the Lord has constructed salvation
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Because it brings Him all the glory and leaves us with none
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He saved us without any of us lifting even a finger, so He alone deserves the glory
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Then secondly, when a believer lives an obedient life of good works, he or she continues to give God glory
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Since we don’t claim our good works as a means of earning salvation, then our good deeds can only be understood as an act of love for God
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Consider the example of a young boy who decides to wash his father’s car one Saturday morning
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Perhaps a neighbor witnesses the boy’s good deed, and he assumes the boy’s father must be paying the son to do this chore
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In which case, he simply concludes the boy is working to earn a wage
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But what would the neighbor think if he discovered that the boy wasn’t being paid at all?
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Instead, the young man simply decided to wash Dad’s car out of love and respect for his father
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Knowing this, the neighbor would naturally wonder what kind of father inspires such selfless love in his children
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In that sense, the boy’s good deed brought glory upon his father
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And in the same way, we are called to glorify our Father in Heaven through good deeds done out of a heart thankful for our salvation
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We know by faith alone we have been adopted into the family of God, made sons and daughters of God Most High by His grace
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So now that we are in the family, we are called to glorify the Father
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First, by putting away sin, putting on the new self
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And secondly, by living out our faith through good works
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These things will lead the world to ask the question, “What kind of Father inspires His children to live this way?”
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This is where we find Paul at the end of Chapter 4 and moving into Chapter 5
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He was exhorting the church to put on the new self, to let our Christ-like nature we received by our faith shine through
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And to disassemble our corrupt, sinful outer man one thread at a time
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This is the call of sanctification
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It’s a decision to take up an inward battle, to fight against ourselves for the glory of God
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Paul’s call to obedience in the faith runs three chapters, and when we last studied together, we reached the end of the first of those chapters
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Paul was giving a series of five exhortations to adopt a different approach to life consistent with our new nature
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If you remember, each of these exhortations had three parts:
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A negative command to stop something, a positive command to begin something new in its place
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And a justification or reason for why this change was beneficial or necessary
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While we read through all five exhortations in vs.25-32, we only discussed four of the exhortations
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The first was to stop speaking falsehoods
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The second was to cease sinning in anger
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The third was to stop stealing
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The fourth was to put an end to unwholesome speech
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Each of these is self-evidently a good thing
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Just ask yourself how you feel when someone lies to you or comes against you in anger or steals from you or gossips about you
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Clearly, these things are unloving and unholy and should not define the life of a follower of the Lord
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Yet as we said last time, they certainly define the world around us
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In fact, these things are so common, they are expected and even tolerated
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We celebrate someone who steals and gets away with it
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We cheer those who say unwholesome things in a comedy routine or in a movie
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Therefore, it’s all the more impactful when a Christian acts differently for the glory of God
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We stand apart in a healthy way
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And the Lord may use that to draw others to Himself, which is our mission while we await our resurrection
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That brings us to the final example at the end of Chapter 4, which is a list of several related behaviors
Eph. 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Eph. 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
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Paul commands that we put away or set aside six vices that work together in a particular way
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Let’s look at each vice for a second and see how they conspire to create a single problem in the body of Christ
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First, Paul says put aside bitterness
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Bitterness is the Bible’s term for a festering hurt or resentment against another
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Bitterness is the opposite of grace and forgiveness
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A bitter person keeps track of the wrongs done to him or her by another rather than letting them go
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As Barclay once remarked, every Christian should pray that the Lord might teach us how to forget
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Next, Paul says put away wrath and anger
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Wrath is a passionate response born out of forethought
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It can come across as anger, but it’s fundamentally not anger
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It’s aggression or abuse focused against someone or something
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Anger is listed separately, because it’s a different emotion
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While wrath is a planned act of aggression, anger is an unthinking, emotional response to something
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Remember, Paul said righteous anger is appropriate, since it is a Spirit-triggered emotion intended to stir us to a righteous response
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But unrighteous anger manifested by the flesh is an impulsive act demonstrating a lack of self-control
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The next two, clamor and and slander, are also related
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Clamor is a vocal outcry or outburst intended to create a disruption
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Like shouting over someone else in an argument so as to silence them
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Or being boisterous as a prideful display of power, like the way a man boasts loudly in a crowded bar hoping to intimidate an adversary
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Similarly, slander is speaking words to hurt another, but the effect is very different
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If clamor is a verbal frontal assault, slander is the rhetorical equivalent of a knife in the back
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Slander is whispering false accusations about someone to anyone who will listen and hopefully repeat it
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Lastly, Paul says put aside malice, which is focused hatred for another person manifested in a variety of ways
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Having malice for another means being absorbed by thoughts of hurting them or seeing them come to harm
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It’s a preoccupation with another’s downfall
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Paul asks us to put away these six vices, because together they work against healing and forgiveness in the body of Christ
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There is no doubt that we will injure one another from time to time
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You can’t expect a group of very different people to come together into a single body and not expect some friction
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That friction is a product of sin…of selfishness, pride, arrogance, thoughtlessness
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While we understand that relationship problems will arise, we don’t accept them nor ignore them
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We came together to help each other put away our sin nature, so as our flaws come to light, we will call them out gently while encouraging better things
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But that process will be blocked before it even starts if we harbor bitter, angry, unforgiving hearts
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If someone does us wrong and we respond with wrath or slander rather than forgiveness, we will cement that person as our enemy
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We can’t shout them down or harbor hatred for them in our hearts, for that just exposes us as the evil one
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Which is why Paul issues the positive command to be kind to one another
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Paul isn’t merely saying “be nice” to everyone
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He’s speaking the context of being wronged
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Be kind to those who wrong you, who hurt you or are thoughtless to you
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Don’t just refrain from a negative response…go out of your way to provide a positive response
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The opposite of retribution isn’t merely silence…it’s showing kindness
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Paul says be tender-hearted, which means literally have a good heart
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So that you might truly forgive one another
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And of course our model is found in the way the Father forgave us in Christ
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While we were His enemies, despising Him and offending Him in everything we did or said
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He moved first to show us kindness, forgiving us and granting us mercy before we even knew we needed it
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The kindness of God brought us to repentance
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Here’s one of the oxymoronic Christian moments for unbelievers
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We show forgiveness to others because we have been forgiven
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We show kindness to others who don’t deserve it because the Father showed undeserving people like you and me His kindness
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But it makes perfect sense to those of us who know the grace of God
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We understand how love wins over the hard heart
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So when we put away malice, anger and wrath, we surprise people who were bracing for a different response
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When we refrain from clamoring to respond softly and kindly to a member of the body of Christ, we let kindness accomplish a work in their heart
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So as we end Chapter 4 and move into Chapter 5, we look back on Paul’s command to live as one body putting on the new self
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We live and work together in this world as one body with one Spirit through one faith
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Yet we’re gifted in a variety of ways by that same Spirit
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Those different gifts work together to make us spiritually stronger together than we can be alone
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We serve in our gifts, growing together in the likeness of Christ, acting as His body before the world
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And if we’re to fulfill that mission, we cannot look like the world
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We must not follow in the same path of sin that defines their lives
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To do so is to be unlike Christ and therefore to be unlike His body
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And if we’re not prepared to look like Christ, then how successful can we be in representing Him to the world?
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Like my example of the young boy who washes his father’s car, what if that young boy was cussing as he did the job?
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Or what if he used the neighbor’s hose to wash the car, stealing the neighbor’s water?
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Or what if he threw his used rags on the neighbor’s lawn?
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Any message concerning the boy’s love for his father was lost on the neighbor who saw just another unruly, thoughtless hooligan
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Which leads us into Chapter 5, with Paul moving away from discussions of behavior within the body to personal behaviors that mark our character
Eph. 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
Eph. 5:2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
Eph. 5:3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
Eph. 5:4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
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Therefore, Paul says, let’s imitate God as His children
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The word “therefore" comes in reference to our mission as Christ’s body
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Paul could have said “So that we may accomplish our mission, be imitators…”
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This is a call to missional living for the sake of the Gospel
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This is not about earning or preserving your salvation
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This is about being effective in the role Christ assigned to His body
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There is simply no other way
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And it begins with walking in love
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The phrase is certainly common, and everyone agrees with the concept
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But when you see Paul’s definition of what it means to walk in love, it gets harder
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Paul defines walking in love as walking in Christ’s footsteps
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Specifically, Christ willingly lay down His life for those who were spitting on Him and whipping Him
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He took insults and fists and returned them with sacrificial forgiveness
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This is the biblical meaning of “walking in love” which is showing everyone self-sacrificial, agape love
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This is walking in love, but it’s hardly what the world means when it talks of love
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But it is the love God expects, and it’s a pleasing thing to our Father when we do it
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If you and I are going to show that kind of love to others, then we must eliminate the behaviors that are contrary to that kind of love
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And so what follows are an examination of the many ways we fail to walk in love
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Beginning with our personal purity
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In v.3 Paul says if we want to walk in love as Christ walked, we can have no immorality, no impurity and no greed among the saints
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These things can’t even be named among us, Paul says
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Which is to say that even the suggestion that such things are part of the body of Christ is harmful to our mission
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If we thought Paul was going to go easy on us, it’s clear Paul has no intention of skirting the tough issues
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Immorality is a Greek word that always describes any conduct that defiles the marriage bed like fornication or adultery
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While impurity refers to any form of unholy living like using pornography or illegal drug use
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Finally greed seems to be connected to the earlier two thoughts, which means any uncontrolled appetite for evil things
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Paul begins with these things because they are exactly the opposite of walking in love
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Walking in love means sacrificing the desires of self for the betterment of others
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But these actions are all about serving self at the expense of others
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Fornication is having sex with someone without marrying them first
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It’s the most selfish form of love
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It’s stealing something precious from someone’s future wife or husband
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It’s about serving our own greedy desires rather than sacrificing self for the sake of the other person and their future spouse
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Obviously, we can say the same things about an adulterous or homosexual relationship
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They are illegitimate relationships born out of selfishness and greed
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They don’t love another person because they aren’t for the betterment of the other person
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They are merely ways we love ourselves
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In fact, every immorality (drug abuse, pornography, etc.) is a selfish act that hurts others, whether directly or indirectly
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And therefore, we cannot allow such things to gain a perch inside the body of Christ
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We cannot have even the suggestion that such things are compatible with a walk with Christ
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Because their very existence in the body of Christ argues against the truth of our message
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We say we want to show Christ’s love to the world but then we act in ways that are the opposite to the way Christ loved
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In Paul’s day in Greek cities like Ephesus, these behaviors were commonplace and so he’s concerned about these things making their way into the church
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But don’t think we’re far removed from these concerns
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Many Christians today struggle with various forms of immorality
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But it’s even more troubling to know that many Christians aren’t even struggling anymore
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They have conceded to the existence of these things in their lives without even putting up a fight, as if it’s the new normal
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Many churches have come to accept these things as normal in our culture
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Like young Christian couples living together before marriage
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Or Christians talking openly about enjoying watching near-pornographic television shows and movies
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Or kids in Christian families using illegal drugs or alcohol, caught in “sexting” scandals at school, etc.
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If we think this is the new normal in the Church, then we’ve lost the message of love Christ left for us to share with the world
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Our message has merely become the world’s message
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Which is love yourself at all costs
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And that message brings no one closer to God
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Finally, Paul moves from immoral behaviors to immoral speech in v.4
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Like Jesus said:
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Matt. 15:18 “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
Matt. 15:19 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
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What lies in our hearts will find its way out of our mouths soon enough
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And just as immoral and impure acts are contrary to love, so is vulgarity
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Let’s look at each of Paul’s concerns
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Paul starts with filthy speech
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Filthiness is obscene conversation
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Like two men discussing a woman’s body in lurid terms
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Or using profanity
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Speaking in these ways is the opposite of love
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It’s abusive to others
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And it’s insensitive to those who will be justifiably offended by such things
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In fact, there is probably no faster way to undermine your Christian witness than to engage in profane or obscene speech
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And by the same token, there is no more obvious and powerful way to stand apart from the world than to refrain from such language
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Next, Paul tells the church to cease silly talk, which could be translated foolish talk
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This is a broad category of speech, but think of it as any talk that is beneath us
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And in particular, any conversation that diminishes us in the eyes of those we’re trying to influence for Christ
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For example, repeating silly phrases like a child might or speaking in a silly voice
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Or talking seriously about meaningless things as if they were worthy of mature conversation
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I think much of what passes for entertainment on the internet (e.g., internet memes, for example) might fall into this category
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We all enjoy the occasional cat video
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But it’s easy to get carried away with that sort of stuff to the point of acting juvenile
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I think this category of speech is especially challenging for teenagers
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It’s a time in life when we’re supposed to move beyond the silly and frivolous to serious concerns of life
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Let’s encourage our Christian teens to mirror their adult aspirations with adult speech patterns
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Obviously, there can be moments in life when talking in silly ways is perfectly acceptable
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Like when entertaining a baby or during private moments with your spouse
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But when we carry these kinds of behaviors into a public setting, we encourage others to take us less seriously
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And if that’s who we become in front of our friends or acquaintances, then we’ll find it difficult transitioning to serious discussions of eternal life
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And it’s in that sense that we are unloving when we talk in this way
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If we truly have love for the lost, then we will guard ourselves against looking frivolous or silly before them
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We want to make sure they see us as serious, thoughtful people who can be trusted to offer meaning counsel on weighty matters
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People don’t seek eternal advice from people who can’t act like an adult
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Finally, Paul asks us to put aside coarse jesting
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He’s talking about dirty jokes, and we all know one when we hear it
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Keep in mind that this category also includes subtle dirty humor
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Like double entendres that imply something profane
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Once again, we know when we hear it
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And term coarse jesting also includes crude remarks of any kind
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For example, making off-handed remarks about someone’s spouse
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Thomas Constable tells a story of a time he attended a wedding where a guest proudly declared that she was the first person to get the groom drunk
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That was coarse jesting too
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Coarse talk of this sort isn’t consistent with walking in love because it imposes on others
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Either it offends
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Or it incites lust
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Or it celebrates depravity and sin in others
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In all cases, it is contrary to love and detracts from our ability to represent Christ
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Instead of these speech patterns, use your tongue to give thanks, Paul says
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First to the Lord Himself and then to others
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Be someone who is a blessing with your mouth
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Because in that way you will certainly stand apart from the world
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Which can only serve to help you reach them for Christ
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We’ve just begun the chapter and there is a lot more waiting for us here
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Paul will move from individual purity to marriage and then family and to those in authority
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We’ll have plenty more to consider as we go
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But before we look past today, give some sober thought to how you carry yourself in the things Paul mentioned
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Remember, your job is to glorify the Father from a thankful, holy heart
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