Taught by
Stephen ArmstrongAccess all of our teaching materials through our smartphone apps conveniently and quickly.
Taught by
Stephen ArmstrongAs the saying goes, timing is everything
Timing can also be key to understanding God’s will
God operates on a timeline that is often completely different than our expectations
Sometimes His call or direction comes too early, sooner than we expected
Other times we feel He’s late
When we feel God’s timing isn’t to our liking, it’s usually a sign that we’re not walking at His side
We’re out of step with the Lord in where He’s going and what He’s at work accomplishing
There are times when He expects us to move quickly and times when He asks us to wait
And our willingness to move and to wait according to His direction are tests of obedience
In the story of Abram we’ve seen him demonstrate faithful obedience
He has shown obedience both through action and by waiting
He acted in faith when he left Ur under God’s direction and entered Canaan
He showed obedience in his willingness to wait for the arrival of the heavenly city of God, the promised land
Foregoing any claim to the land under his feet in the meantime
On the other hand, Abram isn’t perfect, and at times he has demonstrated disobedience
He’s demonstrated disobedience by acting when he should have been waiting
As when he went to Egypt during the famine rather than waiting on God to provide
And in lying about his wife Sarai, calling her his sister, rather than waiting for God to protect him
And in Chapter 16 today we find Abram sinning again in acting too soon
And he sins by waiting when he should have taken action…action to guide and counsel his wife
Often the greatest test of our obedience isn’t in our willingness to act, but in our willingness to wait on the Lord
It’s been ten years since Abram and Sarai left Ur and entered Canaan in response to God’s call
When they left Ur, Abram was 75 and Sarai was 65 years old and they were childless
They were already past childbearing age, even in a day when people were living into a second century
And now after ten years, they remain childless and things look bleak
After ten years of waiting for an heir, Sarai decides that something must be done to correct the problem
In v.2 she tells Abram that God is preventing her from having children
In Hebrew, Sarai says the Lord is restraining her bearing children
And what she says is true
God has made Sarai barren for the time being
We’ll see Scripture tell us later that God opens Sarai’s womb at an appointed time
But for now, God has blocked childbearing for reasons of His own
We’ll understand those reasons in a future chapter, but for now, it’s enough to simply acknowledge that God is in control
But what Sarai failed to do at that point was ask God why, and trust God to bring an answer
Instead, Sarai decides to take matters into her own hands
Sarai has heard all the same promises that Abram has heard
She knows that God has declared Abram will have a countless number of descendants
She knows that the children must come from Abram, since God said it would be an heir from Abram’s own body
But God has said nothing about who the mother will be
Since Abram is married to Sarai, the natural assumption should have been that Sarai would be the mother
But after ten years of waiting for this promise to be realized, Sarai is beginning to wonder if she has made a bad assumption
Perhaps the child is supposed to come from another woman?
Here again, Sarai could have sought the Lord for an answer
Or she could have sought her husband’s counsel for confirmation
Sadly, she does neither
Childlessness was considered the worst fate possible in the ancient world
In ancient culture, childlessness was understood to be a curse from God; a judgment against the marriage
Usually, the woman bore the blame and received the scorn for the lack of children
It’s still a source of despair for many couples today, since one of the greatest joys for a marriage is to witness the birth of new life
In Abram’s day, the laws of the culture permitted men to obtain additional wives especially when the couple was childless
If the first wife didn’t produce after a while, the man could elect to take a second free woman as a wife
In fact, in some cultures the barren wife was obligated to provide her husband a surrogate wife to bear children
The second wife would be equal in standing to the first wife
Obviously, this new arrival in the family became a competitor with the first wife for the affections of the husband
And the two wives shared equally in the inheritance
Since a barren wife had no desire to share her husband with a fertile wife, there arose a second method for obtaining a child in ancient times
A barren woman could offer her husband one of her own slave girls as a concubine
If the husband agreed, he would consummate the marriage with the concubine, making her his legal wife for life
But because the concubine was also a slave owned by the first wife, the concubine did not have the same status as a true wife
She was a second-class wife
She was still a slave and did not receive an inheritance
More importantly, her children would be considered the children of the free wife
So the barren wife would no longer be considered barren
The concubine would never have any children of her own, since every child would be considered the offspring of the first wife
And the first wife remained the master of the concubine
So concubines were essentially child producing slaves
Since the slave wife was still the property (handmaiden) of the free wife, she must obey the orders of the free wife
According to law, she could never be sold because she was a wife
This is the solution Sarai chose for Abram and herself
Rather than sharing Abram with a second wife, Sarai preferred to supply her handmaiden as Abram’s concubine
This preserved her status as Abram’s only free wife and ensured that any child born would be considered Sarai’s child
Sarai offers Abram her handmaid Hagar
Sarai received Hagar while Abram was in Egypt
We remember Egypt is a picture of the sinful world in Scripture, so Hagar herself becomes a picture of sinfulness
Hagar means to flee, as in a fugitive fleeing, reminiscent of their departure from Egypt
It will also carry prophetic meaning for Hagar personally
As we said, Sarai and Abram were following customs of the day
There was nothing immoral about this plan, at least according to the society
But while it might not have been immoral according to human law, that doesn’t mean it was in keeping with God’s purposes or expectations
The question of God’s view of polygamy has been debated throughout the ages
The debate usually centers on the major Biblical characters who are seen to have concubine wives
Besides Abraham, we see Jacob, Caleb, Gideon, Saul, David, and Solomon all taking concubines
Solomon raised it to an art form
So some have concluded over the centuries that multiple wives is something God permits
This conclusion is faulty for four reasons
First, Scripture records numerous men having multiple wives, but recording an event isn’t equivalent to endorsing the behavior
The Scripture records Jacob lying to his father
David committing adultery
Saul practicing divination
And Solomon permitting idolatry
We wouldn’t draw a conclusion that these behaviors are permitted simply because other men sinned in these way
Likewise, we can’t draw the conclusion that multiple wives was God’s plan simply because some men made this mistake
Secondly, in every case where Scripture records multiple marriages, it portrays the experience in a negative light
This chapter shows the consequences of Abram’s sin
Later Scripture will show us the sin of Jacob’s multiple marriages
And likewise, the downfalls of Saul, David and Solomon are clearly connected to their taking multiple wives
One commentator said:
So the only fair conclusion we draw from the examples we do have in Scripture is that polygamy leads to bad things
Thirdly, the practice of multiple wives didn’t begin with an instruction from God but from the decision of a particularly sinful man, Lamech
Remember, it was Lamech who was seventh from Adam in the ungodly line of Cain who first decided to take multiple wives
If the practice of polygamy was the invention of ungodly immoral people, then we can hardly conclude it was according to God’s desires
Finally, Scripture’s specific teaching concerning the nature of marriage is abundantly clear
A man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh
There is simply no room in the theology of the Bible for a husband to share himself with multiple wives
So Sarai (and Abram) are making a mistake, one permitted under the culture but not in keeping with God’s desires
How did they rationalize this decision, since God had not directed this step?
It was probably quite easy
They had been childless their entire marriage
And now they’ve been promised a child by God but it’s been ten years since the promise
The only conclusion Sarai could draw was God has prevented her from having children (v.2)
So, she concludes, it must mean Abram was to receive the child some other way
We can easily imagine what she told herself:
“God provided us with Hagar when He blessed us in Egypt, so Hagar must be God’s provision to us so we can have an heir…”
After all, ten years is a long time to wait
Have you entertained similar thoughts?
“Surely God wants me to have _________?”
“The fact that He hasn’t given it to me so far is just proof that He wants me to get it some other way…”
Who are we kidding? Only ourselves
The fact that we don’t have something is proof that God doesn’t want us to have it, at least not yet if ever
Trying to obtain it some other way is sin
Abram and Sarai are acting out of impatience and a failure to trust in God having made no attempt to seek God’s will over the matter
More than anything else, it’s Abram’s failure to reach out to God that is most striking
Look in v.2 at Abram’s response
Here’s a man who has heard from God personally in three separate occasions
He knows what it’s like to receive instruction from God
Yet on a matter this important, Abram simply listens to the voice of his wife
Why not lift up a prayer asking for confirmation?
There are many ways in which our faith is supposed to drive us to live differently, but none are more important than in the way we make decisions
When the world makes decisions, it weighs options and evaluates outcomes relying entirely on human wisdom
We can employ similar methods
But in the end, we’re supposed to be Spirit-led and God fearing
And if we make our decisions listening to the Lord’s instructions, that will undoubtedly lead us to live a life different from the world
So we shouldn’t be surprised when we’re not following the world’s patterns
Unfortunately Abram, we’re told, listened to the voice of his wife, and took Hagar as a second wife
Often God will frustrate us when we try to go around Him and obtain something outside His will
He will deny us what we are trying to gain, despite our best efforts to obtain it
But the truly frightening thought is that sometimes He lets us have what we want even though it is not His desire, just to teach us a lesson
And in Abram and Sarai’s case, God does that very thing
Hopefully you can see some parallels to our earlier study in Genesis 3
In that chapter we heard a similar statement by God when he disciplined Adam
God said because you listened to the voice of your wife…
Like Adam and Woman in the Garden, Abram and Sarai heard a promise from God
But rather than listening to the voice of God, the wife took matters into her own hands
And as before, the husband took the wife’s instruction over the Lord’s
And the result was a great sin
Now let’s be completely clear about what Scripture is teaching here
The lessons is NOT that husbands shouldn’t take their wive’s counsel
The lesson is that BOTH husband and wife should heed the Lord’s counsel
But ultimately the responsibility lies with the husband to ensure the family is walking in the will of the Lord
Here is where Abram should have acted rather than remained passive
He should have counseled his wife against this end
But Abram failed this test
Each time Abram makes a sinful choice, his actions bring consequences
But because Abram is so central to God’s plan, each sinful choice Abram makes brings history-changing consequences
For example, his decision to go to Egypt resulted in his wife acquiring Hagar
And now Abram’s decision to marry Hagar, an Egyptian and not a woman of God’s choosing, produces long lasting consequences
The first consequence shows itself almost immediately
Hagar finds herself with child, and immediately the problems begin
It’s not hard to imagine how Sarai must have felt as she contemplated her maidservant pregnant with Abram’s child
For decades, Sarai had wanted nothing more than to have a child, to do away with the scorn of barrenness
And though the culture blamed her, perhaps in the back of her mind Sarai wondered whether Abram was to blame
Perhaps it was Abram who was unable to father a child
But now the answer was obvious to everyone: she was barren, not Abram
But at least the child would be considered hers and Abram would finally have an heir
But then Sarai sees the joy in Hagar’s face, and Sarai’s jealousy beings to grow
Then one day Hagar gave Sarai that “look”
Maybe Sarai sensed pity in Hagar’s eyes, or maybe it was a wry, knowing smile from Hagar
A look that communicated more than words could
Sarai realized Hagar, the slave, despised her own master
In Hebrew, the word is also translated contempt
This was more than Sarai could take, so she goes to Abram and protests
Sarai places the blame for Hagar’s haughtiness directly at her husband’s feet
Does Abram truly bear the blame here?
In one sense, no
Abram didn’t originate the idea
He merely agreed to Sarai’s proposal
On the other hand, Sarai is correct
Abram had the leadership role in the family and should have anticipated this outcome
His first wife now had a slave woman that couldn’t be sold and now felt free to show her mistress contempt
Haggar knew that she had special status as Abram’s wife, though she remained a slave
Sarai feels hurt and powerless
And she tells Abram that God will judge between them
God will determine who has made the bigger mistake
I suspect God will blame Abram, not Sarai
This is the full meaning of headship
The point is not who has the earthly power in a marriage
It is who must endure the heavenly accounting for family sin
Finally, Abram compounds one sin with another
When confronted by his wife, Abram is dismissive and reminds his wife she may do what she wants with Hagar, since Hagar is still her slave
So Sarai treats the Egyptian harshly, which means to mistreat her
This is a cruel and thoughtless response by Abram for Hagar’s sake
Hagar is a victim here
She is Abram’s wife and still due respect
And since she carries Abram’s child, God will protect her as he promised to do for Abram’s heirs
And Abram and Sarai will see consequences for their sin on this day